My Hope

Well hello again blogoworld! Much has happened since I've last been with you and I'm over-the-top excited about what's happened in my life. On August 19, my wife Abby gave birth to our 3rd child. John Henry Rose was born weighing 6lbs 14 oz! If you have kids then you know exactly what I've been going through. Praise the Lord!

Now that my little guy is over a week old and is more alert I've been able to spend a significant amount of time staring at him during the late night/early morning feeds and this time spent has proved to be very transformative for me. I look at my son and I see an infant that cannot feed himself, clothe himself, bathe himself, blow his nose, wipe his booty, call for help, scratch an itch or walk on two legs (yet). His entire existence is dependent on my wife and I. If we don't act, he won't survive. When we do act, he continues to grow. We are his hope.

I contrast that thought with my 2 year old son, Will. He can do many of the things mentioned above but not all...we still have to help him. Yet, with Will it's a two-way street...he must accept our help for us to help him. When he doesn't want our help, he begins screaming and is usually worse off doing the task himself. For him, my wife and I are still his hope.

A few nights ago while feeding John I couldn't help but think I'm not much different than John. There are many things in this world that I cannot do by myself. I cannot control the outcome of a big project at work, my wife's temper (i love you babe :)), my nephew's struggle with lung problems, my car breaking down, my own spiritual growth, or the behavior of my friends. Like my son Will, I have to allow the Holy Spirit to help me through whatever comes my way. Even though that pesky fleshly side of me wants to scream for control...I have to constantly recognize that He is my hope. Without Him...I will not grow.

Glen Packaim wrote a song called "My Hope". As I was listening to it recently I was amazed at how it spoke to me and my realtionship with Christ and how those words were so true for my son and his relationship with me. I am his hope, Christ is my hope.

I encourage you to check out this song on itunes or amazon..
Read and be blessed!

When my heart  is overwhelmed
Lead me to the rock that's higher
When my feet are sinking down
Lift me up to walk on water

I will be still and know
You are my father
My eyes will be fixed on you alone

I put my hope in you
There's nothing else to do
Through every valley I know you're by my side
For my life is in your hands

Though my bed is filled with tears
Still you here to remind me
There is more than what appears
Grace from heaven now abounding

I will be still and know
You are my father
My eyes will be fixed on you alone

I put my hope in you

There's nothing else to do
Through every valley I know you're by my side
For my life is in your hands

Your love will never fail
Your mercies are new each day
Through every circumstance my hope will stand
For my life is in your hand

Looking Back and Praising God

A while back I discipled a man that recently accepted Christ as Forgiver and Leader. This man was eager to learn and quick to listen. We met every Tuesday @ 5 pm for almost 2 years and it amazes me that every Tuesday he was able to maintain the same enthusiasm for learning about the things of God as when we began our journey.


In case you're wondering...this man was in my life group and when I found out that he was a new Christian I immediately offered my services to him. My heart for this type of ministry is rooted in the biblical teaching of the dangers "baby Christians" live with every day. For, Scripture refers to Satan, (the already defeated foe .... Satan and Man were both created! Sorry, that's a pet peeve of mine.) as a roaring lion ready to devour. Also, if you carry our the metaphor of "baby" then you have a person like the guy I met with every Tuesday needing nourishment, needing to be loved on, needing instruction against things that will hurt them, like false doctrines etc. This man grew up fast!
During our time together, we covered the doctrine of God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Union with Christ, Atonement, Satan, Angels, Original Sin, and Predestination. It's was a fun road and God taught me something every week....at times it feel like I was so inadequate despite the training I've received. But God is faithful as always and never fails.
Discipleship is a hard road to travel sometimes and it takes a lot of guts, hunger, persistence, and patience. I look back on my time "doing life" with this guy with fondness, and I praise God to know that he is now growing closer to God one step at a time on a consistent basis. What an awesome God we serve!
I want to pass along this song to you, it's a song that has a special meaning in my life lately... It's by Jared Anderson (formerly of Desperation Band). By the way, if you've never checked out Desperation Band...then in my opinion, you're missing out on the guys who'll be leading worship when we get to heaven! They're that good!!

Unfailing God by Jared Anderson from New Life Worship: Counting on God
Though my eyes may fail me
I will follow after you
Though your promise seems forsaken
I'll remember the words in Your hands
Then you'll find me singing


You are unfailing God
Your love's unending
And Your Word is eternal
Firm in the Heavens it stands


Oh sorrow's my condition
And pain holds back no blow
Though this be my darkest hour
Your Lamb is leading my home
And you'll find me singing


You are unfailing God
Your love's unending
And Your Word is eternal
Firm in the Heavens it stands

Eyes can't see but they feel you near
I know you're working through my tears
I trust you Lord I trust for you never walk away


You are unfailing God
Your love's unending
And Your Word is eternal
Firm in the Heavens it stands

Until next time,
JR

Leadership Development Part 2

Well our coaching system at FBC is a great thing. As mentioned in a previous blog we use a 1:5 developmental model. This has many benefits for our context and is very effective for our leaders. But how do we nurture the skill set and leadership potential for the coach himself/herself?

1. We have a monthly coaches meeting where in the past I utilized Nelson Searcy's Focus, Form, Fill, Facilitate model, but I soon realized that it wasn't a good fit for FBC. So at this meeting we spend some time working through process issues needing to be addressed. In addition to process issue I also make sure that I spend ample time equipping. However at the moment I'm rethinking how best to equip these coaches as our meetings are usually an hour and there's simply not enough time to cover everything. So, I'm looking at retooling this time to focus more intensely at a quick-hit type training time...you know...how to do the little things as a coach. I think by using this format I will be able to put off the bigger issues of coaching to either mini-retreats or overnight retreats...time will tell.

2. We do a couple of mini-retreats per year. For example our next mini-retreat will be later this month and focus on the importance of group values and how coaches can extend their influence into the lives of those they lead. These mini-retreats serve a great purpose-they're a fun time together, they're laser-focused, and because they are so infrequent, coaches approach them more seriously... a ready to work mentality.

3. 1-on-1 meeting with me. Since much of a coaches job is relational, I seek to model that type of leadership to my coaches. A main way I accomplish this besides phone calls, emails, and personal notes is to buy them coffee, lunch, or dinner and spend the entire time talking about non-group stuff..rather we talk about how they are doing in their walk with God, their job, their kids, their hobbies and interests, what they are passionate about, their goals, ways I can help them be successful in their discipleship endevours etc. I find this time extremely uplifting for them and for me!

4. An occasional overnight retreat. When we have a lot of big decisions in front of us I find it necessary to take the team and get away to seek the Lord's counsel as a team. I say it's infrequent because I try to cover all expenses :) However, as we grow larger they will have to begin to help offset the expense.

Well there you have it...a look behind the curtain at how leadership development is done in the life group ministry at FBC Burleson.

What do you think?

Until next time,
JR

Leadership Development Part 1

So I'm pretty stoked that after  a couple of years of trial-and-error I think I've found a leadership development model that fits my context. Yes there are many out there and I like a lot of them but I'm a firm believer that each church requires a unique plan that fits their needs. I've been to conferences, seminars, lunch gatherings, websites, blogs, and had conversations about which model could work but it took time to find the sweet spot.

Now, what we at FBC do is nothing new, I didn't design this by any means but rather took ideas from here and there...so here you go:

It functions using the standard developmental leadership model with a 1:5 leader/coach ratio.

Specifically...

•  1 time per quarter (4X per year) each life group leader will have conversation with a life group coach to cultivate their relationship, chat about what God is doing in their (the leader's) life, and how the leader's group is really doing.-highly relational...relationship first, then group stuff.

• Every other month (6X per year) all life group leaders gather for a "huddle". Here I vision cast, story tell...you know all the things point leaders do at big gatherings...and end with some brief need-based content. i.e. creating covenants, dealing with problem people, how to birth a new group well, how to assimilate new members when your group is "full". After I do my thing, the leaders break up and then receive in-depth training from their coaches (the content the coaches use is prepared in advance by me). I've found that the advantage with this approach is that leaders get to hear vision, a little bit of what God is doing in our church b/c of life groups, as well as rub elbows with fellow laborers in community, and lastly they get usable-not-a-waste-of-time content.

• 1 time per year every leader/coach/apprentice is invited to a mini/full retreat that is laser-focused on a specific topic. (still in prep stage...budget etc.)

Is this plan perfect? What's perfect got to do with it? It's working in my church...that's all that matters!

What the plan for my coaches? Stay tuned and I'll be glad to share in my next post! Have a great weekend...

Until next time,
JR

Fish Bowl

Hey leader...ever get the feeling that someone in your group is watching you? Not watching with an occasional glance but I mean really watching you...how you treat others, the language you use when in a tight situation, the amount of time you give to someone asking a question, whether you give thanks before you eat, whether you acknowledge the man in the corner sitting alone, or whether you directly talk to the newbie at group before anyone else does. The list goes on and on and on of ways those in your flock are watching!

Last week I was reminded that those in leadership indeed live in a fish bowl. No, I didn't get caught doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing...hehe. Rather it was a subtle encounter I had that caused me to remember that while I can sit in my office and communicate with my Coaches, leaders, and teachers...lots of people are watching how I conduct myself, lead our groups, and treat others. It was a great reminder of the awesome responsibility I've been given!

What about you? Do you find yourself living in a fish bowl?

Group Divorce

This is probably one of my most disliked aspects of group life...group multiplication. Yea, yea, i know that it's vital for the continuation of the church but that doesn't mean that I have to like it right?

I mean, I have worked tirelessly to build friendships with these people. My wife and I have invited them over, gone to movies, went for ice cream, watched the game, prayed for, called on, taken food to, hung out with, sat in the ashes with, celebrated with, encouraged, affirmed, emphathized, sympathized, hurt for, bragged on, worried about, spurred on, lost sleep over, watched as God moved in the lives of these people! Now we have to move on? It doesn't seem fair and it doesn't seem right? Why can't the church grow but us still maintain our circle of fellowship? Surely the kingdom of God doesn't need my small group to accomplish the purposes set out by God right?

Does this argument sound familiar?

I hear it often as I lead the discipleship efforts here at FBC and it's usually around this time of year. It's never an easy thing to make a transition like this...my group is going through it right now. It flat out stinks and can be messy.

However I think there are some misconceptions still lingering about...they cease to fade. As a small group point leader I think it's time to set the record straight. Below is my philosophy on small group multiplication:

1. The focus in not splitting the group, rather the focus is apprentice leader development (leader multiplication) so that the group remains intact and the apprentice or current leader is sent out to multiply into a new group. To me it doesn't make sense to encourage others to velcro themselves together for the next "era" of their lives but then ask them to split 1 year later...it's counterproductive for building community in my mind.

2. This process of leader multiplication is essential to the continuation of the church. In the words of the immortal Bill Donahue "The vitality and effectiveness of any local church is directly related to the quality of its leadership. It is the responsibility of the chruch to identify and develop new leaders so that the mission of the Gospel can be accomplished and so that people can be shepherded...it is the duty and privilege of all small group leaders to train up a new generation of leaders and to pass the baton effectively. The future hangs in the balance." LLCSG p. 67

3. The process of multiplication can blow up good and fast if you are not on top of things. Have you given everyone an opportunity to be heard? Do they understand why _______ is leaving to start a new group? Do they know that there is a reason why you push so hard for the apprentice process?

4. The undeniable truth of the words of John Ortberg. "to experience the joy of community and then keep it to ourselves is a violation of the Gospel." There are people out there right now looking for what you have...what does it say to the unknown if we know they're there but do nothing to provide them with the very thing they yearn for?

I leave you with a great quote from the legendary Bill Hybels

"God knows nothing of a people who stretch their arms upward to Him yet don't in turn stretch out their arms to those He loves so much. So much that His Son stretched out his arms to make it possible for them to be touched."

Your thoughts?

Till next time,

JR

Why are we afraid?

Whew! That was a bit of life that I just experienced...sorry about that delay. Back to group life!

I often wonder how many leaders out there ever feel scared of confrontation? Even if it's for the good of the group there are times when leaders will tell me that they are fearful of confrontation. No matter the training they are provided it seems that for one reason or another leaders naturally prefer to dodge hard conversations. Could it be that we were designed to live in peace with one another and the mere hint at disharmony doesn't sit well? I tend to think so.

However, despite what I think confrontation still happens and leaders must be prepared to handle it. As John Ortberg teaches, leaders must be the vice-principals of the group. a.k.a.speaker-of-hard-words
This will not be fun for you...it can be gut-wrenching, painful, extraordinarily difficult, and scary. But not dealing with conflict is like trying to hold a beach ball under water, you might be able to keep it hidden for a time but eventually it rises to the surface. Here are some helpful tips in dealing with conflict:

1) For all parties, reconciliation should be your primary objective.

2) Avoid the phrases "you never" "you always" etc.

3) Always use phrases like "I feel that" "When you _____, I feel______".

4)Always speak the truth in love.

5) If they are in the wrong, never leave them without a way back to community, if you are in the wrong    humbly confess and seek their forgiveness .

Till next time!
JR