Leadership Development Part 1

So I'm pretty stoked that after  a couple of years of trial-and-error I think I've found a leadership development model that fits my context. Yes there are many out there and I like a lot of them but I'm a firm believer that each church requires a unique plan that fits their needs. I've been to conferences, seminars, lunch gatherings, websites, blogs, and had conversations about which model could work but it took time to find the sweet spot.

Now, what we at FBC do is nothing new, I didn't design this by any means but rather took ideas from here and there...so here you go:

It functions using the standard developmental leadership model with a 1:5 leader/coach ratio.

Specifically...

•  1 time per quarter (4X per year) each life group leader will have conversation with a life group coach to cultivate their relationship, chat about what God is doing in their (the leader's) life, and how the leader's group is really doing.-highly relational...relationship first, then group stuff.

• Every other month (6X per year) all life group leaders gather for a "huddle". Here I vision cast, story tell...you know all the things point leaders do at big gatherings...and end with some brief need-based content. i.e. creating covenants, dealing with problem people, how to birth a new group well, how to assimilate new members when your group is "full". After I do my thing, the leaders break up and then receive in-depth training from their coaches (the content the coaches use is prepared in advance by me). I've found that the advantage with this approach is that leaders get to hear vision, a little bit of what God is doing in our church b/c of life groups, as well as rub elbows with fellow laborers in community, and lastly they get usable-not-a-waste-of-time content.

• 1 time per year every leader/coach/apprentice is invited to a mini/full retreat that is laser-focused on a specific topic. (still in prep stage...budget etc.)

Is this plan perfect? What's perfect got to do with it? It's working in my church...that's all that matters!

What the plan for my coaches? Stay tuned and I'll be glad to share in my next post! Have a great weekend...

Until next time,
JR

Fish Bowl

Hey leader...ever get the feeling that someone in your group is watching you? Not watching with an occasional glance but I mean really watching you...how you treat others, the language you use when in a tight situation, the amount of time you give to someone asking a question, whether you give thanks before you eat, whether you acknowledge the man in the corner sitting alone, or whether you directly talk to the newbie at group before anyone else does. The list goes on and on and on of ways those in your flock are watching!

Last week I was reminded that those in leadership indeed live in a fish bowl. No, I didn't get caught doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing...hehe. Rather it was a subtle encounter I had that caused me to remember that while I can sit in my office and communicate with my Coaches, leaders, and teachers...lots of people are watching how I conduct myself, lead our groups, and treat others. It was a great reminder of the awesome responsibility I've been given!

What about you? Do you find yourself living in a fish bowl?

Group Divorce

This is probably one of my most disliked aspects of group life...group multiplication. Yea, yea, i know that it's vital for the continuation of the church but that doesn't mean that I have to like it right?

I mean, I have worked tirelessly to build friendships with these people. My wife and I have invited them over, gone to movies, went for ice cream, watched the game, prayed for, called on, taken food to, hung out with, sat in the ashes with, celebrated with, encouraged, affirmed, emphathized, sympathized, hurt for, bragged on, worried about, spurred on, lost sleep over, watched as God moved in the lives of these people! Now we have to move on? It doesn't seem fair and it doesn't seem right? Why can't the church grow but us still maintain our circle of fellowship? Surely the kingdom of God doesn't need my small group to accomplish the purposes set out by God right?

Does this argument sound familiar?

I hear it often as I lead the discipleship efforts here at FBC and it's usually around this time of year. It's never an easy thing to make a transition like this...my group is going through it right now. It flat out stinks and can be messy.

However I think there are some misconceptions still lingering about...they cease to fade. As a small group point leader I think it's time to set the record straight. Below is my philosophy on small group multiplication:

1. The focus in not splitting the group, rather the focus is apprentice leader development (leader multiplication) so that the group remains intact and the apprentice or current leader is sent out to multiply into a new group. To me it doesn't make sense to encourage others to velcro themselves together for the next "era" of their lives but then ask them to split 1 year later...it's counterproductive for building community in my mind.

2. This process of leader multiplication is essential to the continuation of the church. In the words of the immortal Bill Donahue "The vitality and effectiveness of any local church is directly related to the quality of its leadership. It is the responsibility of the chruch to identify and develop new leaders so that the mission of the Gospel can be accomplished and so that people can be shepherded...it is the duty and privilege of all small group leaders to train up a new generation of leaders and to pass the baton effectively. The future hangs in the balance." LLCSG p. 67

3. The process of multiplication can blow up good and fast if you are not on top of things. Have you given everyone an opportunity to be heard? Do they understand why _______ is leaving to start a new group? Do they know that there is a reason why you push so hard for the apprentice process?

4. The undeniable truth of the words of John Ortberg. "to experience the joy of community and then keep it to ourselves is a violation of the Gospel." There are people out there right now looking for what you have...what does it say to the unknown if we know they're there but do nothing to provide them with the very thing they yearn for?

I leave you with a great quote from the legendary Bill Hybels

"God knows nothing of a people who stretch their arms upward to Him yet don't in turn stretch out their arms to those He loves so much. So much that His Son stretched out his arms to make it possible for them to be touched."

Your thoughts?

Till next time,

JR

Why are we afraid?

Whew! That was a bit of life that I just experienced...sorry about that delay. Back to group life!

I often wonder how many leaders out there ever feel scared of confrontation? Even if it's for the good of the group there are times when leaders will tell me that they are fearful of confrontation. No matter the training they are provided it seems that for one reason or another leaders naturally prefer to dodge hard conversations. Could it be that we were designed to live in peace with one another and the mere hint at disharmony doesn't sit well? I tend to think so.

However, despite what I think confrontation still happens and leaders must be prepared to handle it. As John Ortberg teaches, leaders must be the vice-principals of the group. a.k.a.speaker-of-hard-words
This will not be fun for you...it can be gut-wrenching, painful, extraordinarily difficult, and scary. But not dealing with conflict is like trying to hold a beach ball under water, you might be able to keep it hidden for a time but eventually it rises to the surface. Here are some helpful tips in dealing with conflict:

1) For all parties, reconciliation should be your primary objective.

2) Avoid the phrases "you never" "you always" etc.

3) Always use phrases like "I feel that" "When you _____, I feel______".

4)Always speak the truth in love.

5) If they are in the wrong, never leave them without a way back to community, if you are in the wrong    humbly confess and seek their forgiveness .

Till next time!
JR