Recently I've been made aware that we have "covert" groups meeting at my church. It's funny to say out loud but it's the truth. Some have sort of organically formed and some were intentional about forming. When approached, the leaders of these groups dance around the question of why they haven't plugged into the church's network of leader support. Why is it they choose to meet with "no strings attached" separated from the church's coaching model, leader resources, leader gatherings and 1-on-1 coaching?
What would you say?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Why Group Life
Great cinematography and graphic effects done by Nate Low. It was fun making this video and I hope that it's message compels you to invest the rest of what's left of your life to the cause of community! Enjoy.
Small Group Whisperer
Hey leader recently I've received several calls to troubleshoot group life issues. Some have been minor issues that require little action and some are major issues that require significant action. As you go about putting into practice suggested solutions here are some tips on how to become a "small group whisperer":
1. Assess your own performance and focus- Many times issues pop up because the point leader is not functioning on all cylinders.
2. Evaluate how group life is functioning in your little flock-sniff out potential problems but at the same time celebrate the good things that you find.
3. Ask "Are we still striving to accomplish our mission/vision?" If not, why? Apathy, unmet expectations etc.
4. Ask "Are you at least one step closer to God today than when we started this journey?" If not, why?
These questions can help you understand as to why your group might be lacking in one or more areas...but please note these questions should serve as a guide...a launching pad for a conversation.
No matter your findings remember that our number one goal is for people grow one step closer in their walk with Christ. If your group is accomplishing this goal then perhaps things are better than they seem...
JR
1. Assess your own performance and focus- Many times issues pop up because the point leader is not functioning on all cylinders.
2. Evaluate how group life is functioning in your little flock-sniff out potential problems but at the same time celebrate the good things that you find.
3. Ask "Are we still striving to accomplish our mission/vision?" If not, why? Apathy, unmet expectations etc.
4. Ask "Are you at least one step closer to God today than when we started this journey?" If not, why?
These questions can help you understand as to why your group might be lacking in one or more areas...but please note these questions should serve as a guide...a launching pad for a conversation.
No matter your findings remember that our number one goal is for people grow one step closer in their walk with Christ. If your group is accomplishing this goal then perhaps things are better than they seem...
JR
Monday, September 20, 2010
Structured Friendships or Best Friends?
So last night in group we had a pretty cool conversation on the topic of making our group "more than a meeting". We're currently using Andy Stanley's Community: Your Pathway to Progress and in week one of the video portion Andy argues that we should view our small group as structured relationships for the sake of progress in our walk with God. Makes sense right?
Well, we had some guys in the group who were confused on the point of making friends in our little flock. They commented something to the effect of "Well it seems that if we're simply here to use each other to grow closer to God and then part ways why put in all of the effort?" (It's almost as if the thought of growing closer to God didn't register witht them. Now I'm not criticizing them, rather it puzzles me.)
So we went on discussing..some guys argued that they didn't need any more "best friends"...they wanted as Andy eloquently says "A group of people who will accept me exactly as I am and then love me too much to leave me that way." (sheez A. Stanley's gifted isn't he) A group that is focused in their pursuit in becoming more like Jesus. They don't get that in non-structured friendships.
Ultimately we ended up with this opinion: We are all busy and even if we wanted to make best friends in every small group for the rest of our lives there wouldn't be enought time in our busy weeks to maintain them at the level that say children and teenagers do. Rather, what is more beneficial is willingly entering into structured friendships and getting the benefit of spiritual progress. Now granted, things will organically happen. We'll be in a group and there will be 1 or 2 guys that have personalities that fit well with yours, or you'll have the same intensity in your love for sports etc. When this happens, fantastic! If not, continue living out Heb 10:24-25...that seemed to sit well with everyone...done and done.
What do you think? Are structured friendships worth the time if at the end you go your separate ways? Or is there more to be understood about the nature of community?
JR
Well, we had some guys in the group who were confused on the point of making friends in our little flock. They commented something to the effect of "Well it seems that if we're simply here to use each other to grow closer to God and then part ways why put in all of the effort?" (It's almost as if the thought of growing closer to God didn't register witht them. Now I'm not criticizing them, rather it puzzles me.)
So we went on discussing..some guys argued that they didn't need any more "best friends"...they wanted as Andy eloquently says "A group of people who will accept me exactly as I am and then love me too much to leave me that way." (sheez A. Stanley's gifted isn't he) A group that is focused in their pursuit in becoming more like Jesus. They don't get that in non-structured friendships.
Ultimately we ended up with this opinion: We are all busy and even if we wanted to make best friends in every small group for the rest of our lives there wouldn't be enought time in our busy weeks to maintain them at the level that say children and teenagers do. Rather, what is more beneficial is willingly entering into structured friendships and getting the benefit of spiritual progress. Now granted, things will organically happen. We'll be in a group and there will be 1 or 2 guys that have personalities that fit well with yours, or you'll have the same intensity in your love for sports etc. When this happens, fantastic! If not, continue living out Heb 10:24-25...that seemed to sit well with everyone...done and done.
What do you think? Are structured friendships worth the time if at the end you go your separate ways? Or is there more to be understood about the nature of community?
JR
Thursday, September 16, 2010
In-Network or Out-of-Network
Recently I came across an idea from Gateway Church in Austin, TX. At the time, Gateway had on their website a way of communicating their leadership development track that I've never seen before. They had/have? categorized their groups into 2 groups: in-network (those groups who have decided to come under the umbrella of the small group ministry and recieved the church's time, talent, and treasure) and out-of-network groups (those groups that for whatever reason have decided to lead a small group but not associate with the church)
I must admit I do believe there are people in our churches who have a problem with the accountability aspect of leadership...i.e. attending training, meeting with coaches, getting their literature approved etc. My main soapbox on covert groups goes like this: I believe Jesus was the greatest small group leader of all time and until we get to that level of leadership (when we reach glory) we can/should be learning something/challenging ourselves. If we believe we can function without that element....well then it's obvious we have some growth steps to take isn't it?
However we obviously cannot control people so after noodling with this a while I plan on experimenting with Gateway's idea to simply put a name on groups out there not connected to the "mothership". I kind of like the idea of extending an olive branch to those groups covertly meeting and building community.
I ran into a leader last night who confessed that she had been for about a year meeting with a group without telling anyone...I was taken aback by her sense of guilt by "coming clean". So it seems to me that extending an olive branch to them and giving them a name while making them aware the disadvantages of meeting out-of-network is a great way to further the cause of Group Life.
I know I know...this needs to fester a little in my spirit. Thought I would share anyway..
Until next time,
JR
I must admit I do believe there are people in our churches who have a problem with the accountability aspect of leadership...i.e. attending training, meeting with coaches, getting their literature approved etc. My main soapbox on covert groups goes like this: I believe Jesus was the greatest small group leader of all time and until we get to that level of leadership (when we reach glory) we can/should be learning something/challenging ourselves. If we believe we can function without that element....well then it's obvious we have some growth steps to take isn't it?
However we obviously cannot control people so after noodling with this a while I plan on experimenting with Gateway's idea to simply put a name on groups out there not connected to the "mothership". I kind of like the idea of extending an olive branch to those groups covertly meeting and building community.
I ran into a leader last night who confessed that she had been for about a year meeting with a group without telling anyone...I was taken aback by her sense of guilt by "coming clean". So it seems to me that extending an olive branch to them and giving them a name while making them aware the disadvantages of meeting out-of-network is a great way to further the cause of Group Life.
I know I know...this needs to fester a little in my spirit. Thought I would share anyway..
Until next time,
JR
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A Place to Belong
Well an new idea I'll be trying out this fall is called "Grow on the Go". I know I'm not the only one who deals with this issue but at times I find myself beating my head against the wall when leaders don't show up for training events. And every time I follow up with those who missed I get a familiar answer...too busy. That pesky nemesis called busyness deflates enthusiasm, keeps people out of the loop, and inhibits growth...
To combat this enemy I decided to create "Grow on the Go". This tool is a laser-focused audio recording of me or someone smarter (not hard to find :)) addressing practical "how to" group life issues that leaders face everyday. The idea is that a leader could pop in the cd when they get in the car on the way to work and when they get to work they would be done...
Not sure if it will work but hey I'm willing to try anything if it means my leaders will feel equipped to do ministry!
Here's the transcript of the first recording "A Place to Belong"
Grow on the Go Series: A Place to Belong
Welcome to Grow on the Go! My name is Josh Rose and I’m the Adult Minister at FBC. I’d like to spend the next few minutes talking about how to make your group a place to belong.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “a place to belong” before…maybe it was at a conference, or on a flyer, or maybe from one of your church leaders. No matter where you’ve heard the phrase, the message it communicates is what’s important.
When you stop and think about belonging…everyone desires it. No matter the walk of life people want and like to feel as if they belong with a group of people, whether it’s family, a team, friends or coworkers. Belonging is what people want but today many sociologists argue that there is a crisis of belonging in our country.
Did you know that every year 15-17% of the US population relocates? That about 45 million people! Think about the accumulating impact of that! In the career or family building years (ages 20-40) 1 of 3 families moves every year. Do you remember how long it takes to get settled in to a neighborhood? If 1 of 3 families are moving every year the you can bet they’re not settling in..I’m mean why bother if they’re just going to move again? So what we have is good people who are essentially strangers living hospitably among strangers. This has even affected our social activities. For example according to Purdue research professor Dr. Glen Sparks, over the past 20 years:
Friends gathering for card games -25%
Full service rest stops -50%
Fast Food Restaurants +100
Neighborhood gatherings -33%
Time spent in clubs -58%
Dinner at home with friends -33%
# of friends -45%
Again think about what type of culture this has created and how that has affected belonging in our society today.
Did you also know that we are watching at least 28 hrs of television per week! Did you catch that? The average American is looking at a screen (not a face) for over a day a week. According to Purdue University that’s a conservative estimate. In 2006 Nielsen did a study on the American home and found it held 2.5 people per household but contained 2.7 t.v’s per household! 4 years ago there were more t.v.’s in the average home than people! I wonder what it is today? There’s no doubt about it…we are media saturated.
So to sum up…we are a mobile society and we are media saturated. What’s this done? Will Miller, Purdue University’s sociologist/comedian/therapist argues that too many American women have too few women that feel like sisters to them. Too many American men have to few men that feel like brother to them.
People desire to be connected and to have close friendships. I know this because as I look back at the most popular tv shows over the years: Seinfeld, Everyone love Raymond, Friends, Cosby Show, Third Rock from the Sun, that 70s show…or if we look at more current shows: Big Bang Theory, Glee, Lost, Sex and the City and the list goes on…they all share the sense of belonging that people seek…but instead of going out and making their own hubs of community where belonging can thrive…they sit and connect with the characters on tv…
Ok so what do we do with this information…what’s the “how will my leadership be different because of this information?”
Well, small groups are in prime position to capitalize on the current situation in our world today. But how? Here are a few tips on how to cultivate belonging in your group. But first please understand this: Speed of the leader…speed of the team. You will have to do many, if not all, of these things first…you must set the example for people to follow…also, by you acting it will give them permission to act.
With that in mind:
1) Make it a priority to meet between meetings. Whatever the activity, simply spending time together will build a sense of belonging.
2) During your meeting time….relax. This isn’t Seminary Bible Class, take a focused yet relaxed approach to your group meeting…it makes people feel more connected and this will lead to belonging developing organically.
3) During your meeting time, talk about the between meeting get-togethers. This will help your group view itself as not just a Sunday evening event but rather a part of their life. Also an added bonus is it will begin to draw out those still struggling to catch on to the whole Group Life movement.
4) If you’re going to watch tv, do it together…I mean Americans are watching 28hrs of tv a week! Surely you can watch 4 of the 28 hrs in the company of your fellow group members. Again, time with each other will result in an increased sense of belonging.
Your group can have everything people need for belonging. It just takes getting out there and putting in the hard work. It takes sacrifice…but the prize is living as God designed us to live…and there’s no better reward than that.
God bless ya and best of luck as you make your small group a place to belong.
Until Next Time,
JR
To combat this enemy I decided to create "Grow on the Go". This tool is a laser-focused audio recording of me or someone smarter (not hard to find :)) addressing practical "how to" group life issues that leaders face everyday. The idea is that a leader could pop in the cd when they get in the car on the way to work and when they get to work they would be done...
Not sure if it will work but hey I'm willing to try anything if it means my leaders will feel equipped to do ministry!
Here's the transcript of the first recording "A Place to Belong"
Grow on the Go Series: A Place to Belong
Welcome to Grow on the Go! My name is Josh Rose and I’m the Adult Minister at FBC. I’d like to spend the next few minutes talking about how to make your group a place to belong.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “a place to belong” before…maybe it was at a conference, or on a flyer, or maybe from one of your church leaders. No matter where you’ve heard the phrase, the message it communicates is what’s important.
When you stop and think about belonging…everyone desires it. No matter the walk of life people want and like to feel as if they belong with a group of people, whether it’s family, a team, friends or coworkers. Belonging is what people want but today many sociologists argue that there is a crisis of belonging in our country.
Did you know that every year 15-17% of the US population relocates? That about 45 million people! Think about the accumulating impact of that! In the career or family building years (ages 20-40) 1 of 3 families moves every year. Do you remember how long it takes to get settled in to a neighborhood? If 1 of 3 families are moving every year the you can bet they’re not settling in..I’m mean why bother if they’re just going to move again? So what we have is good people who are essentially strangers living hospitably among strangers. This has even affected our social activities. For example according to Purdue research professor Dr. Glen Sparks, over the past 20 years:
Friends gathering for card games -25%
Full service rest stops -50%
Fast Food Restaurants +100
Neighborhood gatherings -33%
Time spent in clubs -58%
Dinner at home with friends -33%
# of friends -45%
Again think about what type of culture this has created and how that has affected belonging in our society today.
Did you also know that we are watching at least 28 hrs of television per week! Did you catch that? The average American is looking at a screen (not a face) for over a day a week. According to Purdue University that’s a conservative estimate. In 2006 Nielsen did a study on the American home and found it held 2.5 people per household but contained 2.7 t.v’s per household! 4 years ago there were more t.v.’s in the average home than people! I wonder what it is today? There’s no doubt about it…we are media saturated.
So to sum up…we are a mobile society and we are media saturated. What’s this done? Will Miller, Purdue University’s sociologist/comedian/therapist argues that too many American women have too few women that feel like sisters to them. Too many American men have to few men that feel like brother to them.
People desire to be connected and to have close friendships. I know this because as I look back at the most popular tv shows over the years: Seinfeld, Everyone love Raymond, Friends, Cosby Show, Third Rock from the Sun, that 70s show…or if we look at more current shows: Big Bang Theory, Glee, Lost, Sex and the City and the list goes on…they all share the sense of belonging that people seek…but instead of going out and making their own hubs of community where belonging can thrive…they sit and connect with the characters on tv…
Ok so what do we do with this information…what’s the “how will my leadership be different because of this information?”
Well, small groups are in prime position to capitalize on the current situation in our world today. But how? Here are a few tips on how to cultivate belonging in your group. But first please understand this: Speed of the leader…speed of the team. You will have to do many, if not all, of these things first…you must set the example for people to follow…also, by you acting it will give them permission to act.
With that in mind:
1) Make it a priority to meet between meetings. Whatever the activity, simply spending time together will build a sense of belonging.
2) During your meeting time….relax. This isn’t Seminary Bible Class, take a focused yet relaxed approach to your group meeting…it makes people feel more connected and this will lead to belonging developing organically.
3) During your meeting time, talk about the between meeting get-togethers. This will help your group view itself as not just a Sunday evening event but rather a part of their life. Also an added bonus is it will begin to draw out those still struggling to catch on to the whole Group Life movement.
4) If you’re going to watch tv, do it together…I mean Americans are watching 28hrs of tv a week! Surely you can watch 4 of the 28 hrs in the company of your fellow group members. Again, time with each other will result in an increased sense of belonging.
Your group can have everything people need for belonging. It just takes getting out there and putting in the hard work. It takes sacrifice…but the prize is living as God designed us to live…and there’s no better reward than that.
God bless ya and best of luck as you make your small group a place to belong.
Until Next Time,
JR
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Do we really care?
It's the beginning of the semester and groups are back up and running...I can't help but wonder how many leaders out there are asking their group the question: Do we really care?
As group expectations are clarified, ground rules agreed upon and group norms established how many leaders are asking the big questions?
Last week I showed Will Miller's presentation of Refrigerator Rights from the '07 Willow Groups confence...it's now a must-see for many of our groups simply because it's so funny :) My group had never seen it before so I was interested to know how they would respond...do we care enough to establish refrigerator rights with one another?
This is a big question for a group to answer as it can immediately help a group spout it's wings...
What if you were to have a conversation with your group where you answer a series of questions...maybe something like:
Since we care about each other we will ___________.
Since we care about this group we will ____________.
Since we care about this church, our group will_________.
I wonder what that conversation would yield...
First we must answer the question...Do we really care?
As group expectations are clarified, ground rules agreed upon and group norms established how many leaders are asking the big questions?
Last week I showed Will Miller's presentation of Refrigerator Rights from the '07 Willow Groups confence...it's now a must-see for many of our groups simply because it's so funny :) My group had never seen it before so I was interested to know how they would respond...do we care enough to establish refrigerator rights with one another?
This is a big question for a group to answer as it can immediately help a group spout it's wings...
What if you were to have a conversation with your group where you answer a series of questions...maybe something like:
Since we care about each other we will ___________.
Since we care about this group we will ____________.
Since we care about this church, our group will_________.
I wonder what that conversation would yield...
First we must answer the question...Do we really care?
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