So last night in group we had a pretty cool conversation on the topic of making our group "more than a meeting". We're currently using Andy Stanley's Community: Your Pathway to Progress and in week one of the video portion Andy argues that we should view our small group as structured relationships for the sake of progress in our walk with God. Makes sense right?
Well, we had some guys in the group who were confused on the point of making friends in our little flock. They commented something to the effect of "Well it seems that if we're simply here to use each other to grow closer to God and then part ways why put in all of the effort?" (It's almost as if the thought of growing closer to God didn't register witht them. Now I'm not criticizing them, rather it puzzles me.)
So we went on discussing..some guys argued that they didn't need any more "best friends"...they wanted as Andy eloquently says "A group of people who will accept me exactly as I am and then love me too much to leave me that way." (sheez A. Stanley's gifted isn't he) A group that is focused in their pursuit in becoming more like Jesus. They don't get that in non-structured friendships.
Ultimately we ended up with this opinion: We are all busy and even if we wanted to make best friends in every small group for the rest of our lives there wouldn't be enought time in our busy weeks to maintain them at the level that say children and teenagers do. Rather, what is more beneficial is willingly entering into structured friendships and getting the benefit of spiritual progress. Now granted, things will organically happen. We'll be in a group and there will be 1 or 2 guys that have personalities that fit well with yours, or you'll have the same intensity in your love for sports etc. When this happens, fantastic! If not, continue living out Heb 10:24-25...that seemed to sit well with everyone...done and done.
What do you think? Are structured friendships worth the time if at the end you go your separate ways? Or is there more to be understood about the nature of community?
JR
What will happen when your group reaches the conflict stage of small group life? This doesn't sound like authentic Christian community to me. If the group is truly being real with each other it's just a matter of time before a conflict will happen. I don't know of a single real relationship I've had where conflict doesn't eventually happen. Just my opinion is all.
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