What I'm Reading

I run across blogs every now and again sharing what the author is currently reading. At first I was like come on, no one cares what you're reading. However over time I've found those type of post to be helpful for me. Many times I'll hear of a book because of a blog and when I read it I realize that it has blessed me so much. There is wisdom is casting a broad net when looking for resources to enhance your leadership ability, ministry savy and relational gravitas.

So here is my current reading list:

The Me I Want To Be by John Ortberg
I Quit by Gerri Scazzero
Visioneering by Andy Stanley
Lost and Found by Ed Stetzer
Prayer: The Timeless Sceret of High-Impact Leaders by Dave Early

What are you currently reading?

Nintendo, Small Groups, and the Reset Button

When I was little Santa gave me a Nintendo with a free game, Super Mario Brothers! My brother and I played Super Mario Brothers day in and day out without stopping. It was awesome! We even had our friends over and had tournaments to see who could get the farthest, the fastest. I look back and realized that it was in moments such as those that many of my friendships grew strong roots that to this day have not been severed.

Yet, over time guess what we had to do? Come on, you know the answer. That's right, we had to begin a ritual in order to get the silly Nintendo to work! First, I would blow on the game like a harmonica, then I would blow into the interior of the game holder, then I would insert the game and rapidly bounce it up and down 6 times before forcefully pushing it into position so it would lock. Amazing. Every time it seemed to work!

But sometimes, that procedure didn't work. Sometimes, I had to focus on the console itself. I had to complete the installation ritual, then hit reset. Once I hit reset, it was a failsafe...instant gratification baby! On and on we played with that Nintendo until we eventually got a Sega. Why? Because the Nintendo no longer met our needs. The Sega became a better fit for me and my brother. Hm.

I've found that small group ministry is often similar to my experience with the Nintendo. It works well for a while and it serves as a vehicle for spiritual transformation and community but over time due to the wear and tear of life on the participants, it no longer works on its own, but rather needs some help. So we go out and begin the "Nintendo ritual" on our small group ministry. We go and infuse our leaders with more encouragement, more skill-training, refresh our marketing etc. And this even works for a while!

Yet, after a semester or two we come to the realization that it's not working any more. The participation is stagnating, groups are veering from our vision, our coaches are buckling under life's responsibilities, and we as point leaders are always frustrated. So what do we do?

I've recently found it not only helpful, but liberating to put a name on what's going on. What we're doing no longer works! Let's hit the "reset button" and start anew! I know some leaders may have a problem with this because we must admit that we're not as good as Gladen, Donahue or Willits but find solace in the words of Henry Cloud: our model should work for us, we should never work for our model.

Willits and Stanley write in their book Creating Community "Like every living thing, every group has a life cycle." and that true for ministry models as well. So, as you go about leading your people to community I pray that you are senstive to ministry needs and have the courage to hit the reset button...because at some point the model's we have in place will no longer be relevant.

Experience the adventure of starting with white sheet of paper!

JR

Learn From or Live Through Experiences

When I was in seminary I had a professor that taught me the focus of discipleship in its embryonic form is to learn. She then asked us 'What is learning?' after a numerous attempts by students to answer her question she finally shared 'learning is a change in knowledge, skill, understanding, or behavior brought about by some experience.' For example, if we walk through the story of Abram leaving everything he knew to go to a place the Lord would show him and say "hm that Abram was a courageous dude." Then we have not learned. Rather if we read that story and walked away with a new/fresh/fuller/deeper understanding of God's sovereign plan and can begin to make parallels into our own life, we have then learned something.

As a leader, do you seek to learn from your experiences or are you content to live through your experiences? In my world of small group point leadership I am constantly trying to sniff out potential/current issues with my ministry model. This is not always an uplifting task, no one likes to see a model they designed and implemented suffer, but I'm convinced it is the task of great leaders. And when I come upon an issue that must be addressed so that more people can experience Group Life at its finest, it's hard not to hide.

Picking yourself up and making adjustments along the way is the quickest way to reaching your potential as a ministry. In my world, I'm at that stage. I've taken the bitter pill and admitted I'm not the greatest, but I refuse to allow my system issues to define my ministry. Rather, it spurs me on to try new things. Change. I have new knowledge. I have improved my skill. I have strengthened my understanding. And now I'm changing my behavior...I believe that's called learning. Are you?

A Leader's Levers

Not long ago I was reminded that working with volunteers is much like walking a tight-rope. Be too demanding with expectations and they're gone in a blink, be too lax and they get so diluted in their understanding of your expectations they become toothless. The key is not to pull the demanding 'lever' and expect a result, nor is it to pull the freedom 'lever' and expect a result. Rather, we must acknowledge that there are more levers!

There multiple types of levers that a point leader has at his/her disposal. There's the grace lever, the speaker of hard words lever, the encouragement lever, the teaching lever, the training lever, the coaching lever, the pastoral lever, the understanding lever etc.

I've found that while I'm extraordinarily far from mastering this, pulling on each lever just a little at a time creates a dynamic that is more in line with the desired outcome we're looking for.

So here are a few reminders that I've found can help me walk the leadership tight-rope:

1. Have I asked my leaders if there is anything they need help with?
Leaders always, always, always want to know you care more about them, than the task. If the task is pervading your thoughts more than what happening in your leaders life-you might need to chat with God about that.

2. Have I personally encouraged my leaders lately?
There are a multitude of ways we encourage our leaders, but few are as effective as good ole fashioned penmanship. A handwritten note can go eons farther than a typed, mass produced letter. When we communicate to our leaders that amist our business we stopped and intentionally set aside time for them...it's a powerful communicator of their worth to us.

3. Am I doing anything to help my leaders become better?
Are we providing 'need-to-know' training that can be immediately implemented at their next group meeting? Abstract concepts are good for retreats and big rallies...but not in-the-trenches training. My experience has been that leaders want training that is short, sweet, but potent. While that can hard to do, know that you have lots of resources at your disposal. Such as this and this. Or perhaps you may not even offer training at all...if not, check this site out, it's loaded with helpful resources.

Peace out!
JR

Covert Groups

Recently I've been made aware that we have "covert" groups meeting at my church. It's funny to say out loud but it's the truth. Some have sort of organically formed and some were intentional about forming. When approached, the leaders of these groups dance around the question of why they haven't plugged into the church's network of leader support. Why is it they choose to meet with "no strings attached" separated from the church's coaching model, leader resources, leader gatherings and 1-on-1 coaching?

What would you say?

Why Group Life

Great cinematography and graphic effects done by Nate Low. It was fun making this video and I hope that it's message compels you to invest the rest of what's left of your life to the cause of community! Enjoy.

Small Group Whisperer

Hey leader recently I've received several calls to troubleshoot group life issues. Some have been minor issues that require little action and some are major issues that require significant action. As you go about putting into practice suggested solutions here are some tips on how to become a "small group whisperer":

1. Assess your own performance and focus- Many times issues pop up because the point leader is not functioning on all cylinders.

2. Evaluate how group life is functioning in your little flock-sniff out potential problems but at the same time celebrate the good things that you find.

3. Ask "Are we still striving to accomplish our mission/vision?" If not, why? Apathy, unmet expectations etc.

4. Ask "Are you at least one step closer to God today than when we started this journey?" If not, why?

These questions can help you understand as to why your group might be lacking in one or more areas...but please note these questions should serve as a guide...a launching pad for a conversation.

No matter your findings remember that our number one goal is for people grow one step closer in their walk with Christ. If your group is accomplishing this goal then perhaps things are better than they seem...

JR

Structured Friendships or Best Friends?

So last night in group we had a pretty cool conversation on the topic of making our group "more than a meeting". We're currently using Andy Stanley's Community: Your Pathway to Progress  and in week one of the video portion Andy argues that we should view our small group as structured relationships for the sake of progress in our walk with God. Makes sense right?

Well, we had some guys in the group who were confused on the point of making friends in our little flock. They commented something to the effect of "Well it seems that if we're simply here to use each other to grow closer to God and then part ways why put in all of the effort?" (It's almost as if the thought of growing closer to God didn't register witht them. Now I'm not criticizing them, rather it puzzles me.)

So we went on discussing..some guys argued that they didn't need any more "best friends"...they wanted as Andy eloquently says "A group of people who will accept me exactly as I am and then love me too much to leave me that way." (sheez A. Stanley's gifted isn't he) A group that is focused in their pursuit in becoming more like Jesus. They don't get that in non-structured friendships.

Ultimately we ended up with this opinion: We are all busy and even if we wanted to make best friends in every small group for the rest of our lives there wouldn't be enought time in our busy weeks to maintain them at the level that say children and teenagers do. Rather, what is more beneficial is willingly entering into structured friendships and getting the benefit of spiritual progress. Now granted, things will organically happen. We'll be in a group and there will be 1 or 2 guys that have personalities that fit well with yours, or you'll have the same intensity in your love for sports etc. When this happens, fantastic! If not, continue living out Heb 10:24-25...that seemed to sit well with everyone...done and done.

What do you think? Are structured friendships worth the time if at the end you go your separate ways? Or is there more to be understood about the nature of community?

JR

In-Network or Out-of-Network

Recently I came across an idea from Gateway Church in Austin, TX. At the time, Gateway had on their website a way of communicating their leadership development track that I've never seen before. They had/have? categorized their groups into 2 groups: in-network (those groups who have decided to come under the umbrella of the small group ministry and recieved the church's time, talent, and treasure) and out-of-network groups (those groups that for whatever reason have decided to lead a small group but not associate with the church)

I must admit I do believe there are people in our churches who have a problem with the accountability aspect of leadership...i.e. attending training, meeting with coaches, getting their literature approved etc. My main soapbox on covert groups goes like this: I believe Jesus was the greatest small group leader of all time and until we get to that level of leadership (when we reach glory) we can/should be learning something/challenging ourselves. If we believe we can function without that element....well then it's obvious we have some growth steps to take isn't it?

However we obviously cannot control people so after noodling with this a while I plan on experimenting with Gateway's idea to simply put a name on groups out there not connected to the "mothership". I kind of like the idea of extending an olive branch to those groups covertly meeting and building community.

I ran into a leader last night who confessed that she had been for about a year meeting with a group without telling anyone...I was taken aback by her sense of guilt by "coming clean". So it seems to me that extending an olive branch to them and giving them a name while making them aware the disadvantages of meeting out-of-network is a great way to further the cause of Group Life.

I know I know...this needs to fester a little in my spirit. Thought I would share anyway..

Until next time,
JR

A Place to Belong

Well an new idea I'll be trying out this fall is called "Grow on the Go". I know I'm not the only one who deals with this issue but at times I find myself beating my head against the wall when leaders don't show up for training events. And every time I follow up with those who missed I get a familiar answer...too busy. That pesky nemesis called busyness deflates enthusiasm, keeps people out of the loop, and inhibits growth...

To combat this enemy I decided to create "Grow on the Go". This tool is a laser-focused audio recording of me or someone smarter (not hard to find :)) addressing practical "how to" group life issues that leaders face everyday. The idea is that a leader could pop in the cd when they get in the car on the way to work and when they get to work they would be done...

Not sure if it will work but hey I'm willing to try anything if it means my leaders will feel equipped to do ministry!

Here's the transcript of the first recording "A Place to Belong"

Grow on the Go Series: A Place to Belong


Welcome to Grow on the Go! My name is Josh Rose and I’m the Adult Minister at FBC. I’d like to spend the next few minutes talking about how to make your group a place to belong.

You’ve probably heard the phrase “a place to belong” before…maybe it was at a conference, or on a flyer, or maybe from one of your church leaders. No matter where you’ve heard the phrase, the message it communicates is what’s important.

When you stop and think about belonging…everyone desires it. No matter the walk of life people want and like to feel as if they belong with a group of people, whether it’s family, a team, friends or coworkers. Belonging is what people want but today many sociologists argue that there is a crisis of belonging in our country.

Did you know that every year 15-17% of the US population relocates? That about 45 million people! Think about the accumulating impact of that! In the career or family building years (ages 20-40) 1 of 3 families moves every year. Do you remember how long it takes to get settled in to a neighborhood? If 1 of 3 families are moving every year the you can bet they’re not settling in..I’m mean why bother if they’re just going to move again? So what we have is good people who are essentially strangers living hospitably among strangers. This has even affected our social activities. For example according to Purdue research professor Dr. Glen Sparks, over the past 20 years:

Friends gathering for card games -25%

Full service rest stops -50%

Fast Food Restaurants +100

Neighborhood gatherings -33%

Time spent in clubs -58%

Dinner at home with friends -33%

# of friends -45%

Again think about what type of culture this has created and how that has affected belonging in our society today.

Did you also know that we are watching at least 28 hrs of television per week! Did you catch that? The average American is looking at a screen (not a face) for over a day a week. According to Purdue University that’s a conservative estimate. In 2006 Nielsen did a study on the American home and found it held 2.5 people per household but contained 2.7 t.v’s per household! 4 years ago there were more t.v.’s in the average home than people! I wonder what it is today? There’s no doubt about it…we are media saturated.

So to sum up…we are a mobile society and we are media saturated. What’s this done? Will Miller, Purdue University’s sociologist/comedian/therapist argues that too many American women have too few women that feel like sisters to them. Too many American men have to few men that feel like brother to them.

People desire to be connected and to have close friendships. I know this because as I look back at the most popular tv shows over the years: Seinfeld, Everyone love Raymond, Friends, Cosby Show, Third Rock from the Sun, that 70s show…or if we look at more current shows: Big Bang Theory, Glee, Lost, Sex and the City and the list goes on…they all share the sense of belonging that people seek…but instead of going out and making their own hubs of community where belonging can thrive…they sit and connect with the characters on tv…

Ok so what do we do with this information…what’s the “how will my leadership be different because of this information?”

Well, small groups are in prime position to capitalize on the current situation in our world today. But how? Here are a few tips on how to cultivate belonging in your group. But first please understand this: Speed of the leader…speed of the team. You will have to do many, if not all, of these things first…you must set the example for people to follow…also, by you acting it will give them permission to act.

With that in mind:

1) Make it a priority to meet between meetings. Whatever the activity, simply spending time together will build a sense of belonging.

2) During your meeting time….relax. This isn’t Seminary Bible Class, take a focused yet relaxed approach to your group meeting…it makes people feel more connected and this will lead to belonging developing organically.

3) During your meeting time, talk about the between meeting get-togethers. This will help your group view itself as not just a Sunday evening event but rather a part of their life. Also an added bonus is it will begin to draw out those still struggling to catch on to the whole Group Life movement.

4) If you’re going to watch tv, do it together…I mean Americans are watching 28hrs of tv a week! Surely you can watch 4 of the 28 hrs in the company of your fellow group members. Again, time with each other will result in an increased sense of belonging.

Your group can have everything people need for belonging. It just takes getting out there and putting in the hard work. It takes sacrifice…but the prize is living as God designed us to live…and there’s no better reward than that.

God bless ya and best of luck as you make your small group a place to belong.

Until Next Time,
JR

Do we really care?

It's the beginning of the semester and groups are back up and running...I can't help but wonder how many leaders out there are asking their group the question: Do we really care?

As group expectations are clarified, ground rules agreed upon and group norms established how many leaders are asking the big questions?

Last week I showed Will Miller's presentation of Refrigerator Rights from the '07 Willow Groups confence...it's now a must-see for many of our groups simply because it's so funny :) My group had never seen it before so I was interested to know how they would respond...do we care enough to establish refrigerator rights with one another?

This is a big question for a group to answer as it can immediately help a group spout it's wings...

What if you were to have a conversation with your group where you answer a series of questions...maybe something like:

Since we care about each other we will ___________.
Since we care about this group we will ____________.
Since we care about this church, our group will_________.

I wonder what that conversation would yield...

First we must answer the question...Do we really care?

My Hope

Well hello again blogoworld! Much has happened since I've last been with you and I'm over-the-top excited about what's happened in my life. On August 19, my wife Abby gave birth to our 3rd child. John Henry Rose was born weighing 6lbs 14 oz! If you have kids then you know exactly what I've been going through. Praise the Lord!

Now that my little guy is over a week old and is more alert I've been able to spend a significant amount of time staring at him during the late night/early morning feeds and this time spent has proved to be very transformative for me. I look at my son and I see an infant that cannot feed himself, clothe himself, bathe himself, blow his nose, wipe his booty, call for help, scratch an itch or walk on two legs (yet). His entire existence is dependent on my wife and I. If we don't act, he won't survive. When we do act, he continues to grow. We are his hope.

I contrast that thought with my 2 year old son, Will. He can do many of the things mentioned above but not all...we still have to help him. Yet, with Will it's a two-way street...he must accept our help for us to help him. When he doesn't want our help, he begins screaming and is usually worse off doing the task himself. For him, my wife and I are still his hope.

A few nights ago while feeding John I couldn't help but think I'm not much different than John. There are many things in this world that I cannot do by myself. I cannot control the outcome of a big project at work, my wife's temper (i love you babe :)), my nephew's struggle with lung problems, my car breaking down, my own spiritual growth, or the behavior of my friends. Like my son Will, I have to allow the Holy Spirit to help me through whatever comes my way. Even though that pesky fleshly side of me wants to scream for control...I have to constantly recognize that He is my hope. Without Him...I will not grow.

Glen Packaim wrote a song called "My Hope". As I was listening to it recently I was amazed at how it spoke to me and my realtionship with Christ and how those words were so true for my son and his relationship with me. I am his hope, Christ is my hope.

I encourage you to check out this song on itunes or amazon..
Read and be blessed!

When my heart  is overwhelmed
Lead me to the rock that's higher
When my feet are sinking down
Lift me up to walk on water

I will be still and know
You are my father
My eyes will be fixed on you alone

I put my hope in you
There's nothing else to do
Through every valley I know you're by my side
For my life is in your hands

Though my bed is filled with tears
Still you here to remind me
There is more than what appears
Grace from heaven now abounding

I will be still and know
You are my father
My eyes will be fixed on you alone

I put my hope in you

There's nothing else to do
Through every valley I know you're by my side
For my life is in your hands

Your love will never fail
Your mercies are new each day
Through every circumstance my hope will stand
For my life is in your hand

Looking Back and Praising God

A while back I discipled a man that recently accepted Christ as Forgiver and Leader. This man was eager to learn and quick to listen. We met every Tuesday @ 5 pm for almost 2 years and it amazes me that every Tuesday he was able to maintain the same enthusiasm for learning about the things of God as when we began our journey.


In case you're wondering...this man was in my life group and when I found out that he was a new Christian I immediately offered my services to him. My heart for this type of ministry is rooted in the biblical teaching of the dangers "baby Christians" live with every day. For, Scripture refers to Satan, (the already defeated foe .... Satan and Man were both created! Sorry, that's a pet peeve of mine.) as a roaring lion ready to devour. Also, if you carry our the metaphor of "baby" then you have a person like the guy I met with every Tuesday needing nourishment, needing to be loved on, needing instruction against things that will hurt them, like false doctrines etc. This man grew up fast!
During our time together, we covered the doctrine of God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Union with Christ, Atonement, Satan, Angels, Original Sin, and Predestination. It's was a fun road and God taught me something every week....at times it feel like I was so inadequate despite the training I've received. But God is faithful as always and never fails.
Discipleship is a hard road to travel sometimes and it takes a lot of guts, hunger, persistence, and patience. I look back on my time "doing life" with this guy with fondness, and I praise God to know that he is now growing closer to God one step at a time on a consistent basis. What an awesome God we serve!
I want to pass along this song to you, it's a song that has a special meaning in my life lately... It's by Jared Anderson (formerly of Desperation Band). By the way, if you've never checked out Desperation Band...then in my opinion, you're missing out on the guys who'll be leading worship when we get to heaven! They're that good!!

Unfailing God by Jared Anderson from New Life Worship: Counting on God
Though my eyes may fail me
I will follow after you
Though your promise seems forsaken
I'll remember the words in Your hands
Then you'll find me singing


You are unfailing God
Your love's unending
And Your Word is eternal
Firm in the Heavens it stands


Oh sorrow's my condition
And pain holds back no blow
Though this be my darkest hour
Your Lamb is leading my home
And you'll find me singing


You are unfailing God
Your love's unending
And Your Word is eternal
Firm in the Heavens it stands

Eyes can't see but they feel you near
I know you're working through my tears
I trust you Lord I trust for you never walk away


You are unfailing God
Your love's unending
And Your Word is eternal
Firm in the Heavens it stands

Until next time,
JR

Leadership Development Part 2

Well our coaching system at FBC is a great thing. As mentioned in a previous blog we use a 1:5 developmental model. This has many benefits for our context and is very effective for our leaders. But how do we nurture the skill set and leadership potential for the coach himself/herself?

1. We have a monthly coaches meeting where in the past I utilized Nelson Searcy's Focus, Form, Fill, Facilitate model, but I soon realized that it wasn't a good fit for FBC. So at this meeting we spend some time working through process issues needing to be addressed. In addition to process issue I also make sure that I spend ample time equipping. However at the moment I'm rethinking how best to equip these coaches as our meetings are usually an hour and there's simply not enough time to cover everything. So, I'm looking at retooling this time to focus more intensely at a quick-hit type training time...you know...how to do the little things as a coach. I think by using this format I will be able to put off the bigger issues of coaching to either mini-retreats or overnight retreats...time will tell.

2. We do a couple of mini-retreats per year. For example our next mini-retreat will be later this month and focus on the importance of group values and how coaches can extend their influence into the lives of those they lead. These mini-retreats serve a great purpose-they're a fun time together, they're laser-focused, and because they are so infrequent, coaches approach them more seriously... a ready to work mentality.

3. 1-on-1 meeting with me. Since much of a coaches job is relational, I seek to model that type of leadership to my coaches. A main way I accomplish this besides phone calls, emails, and personal notes is to buy them coffee, lunch, or dinner and spend the entire time talking about non-group stuff..rather we talk about how they are doing in their walk with God, their job, their kids, their hobbies and interests, what they are passionate about, their goals, ways I can help them be successful in their discipleship endevours etc. I find this time extremely uplifting for them and for me!

4. An occasional overnight retreat. When we have a lot of big decisions in front of us I find it necessary to take the team and get away to seek the Lord's counsel as a team. I say it's infrequent because I try to cover all expenses :) However, as we grow larger they will have to begin to help offset the expense.

Well there you have it...a look behind the curtain at how leadership development is done in the life group ministry at FBC Burleson.

What do you think?

Until next time,
JR

Leadership Development Part 1

So I'm pretty stoked that after  a couple of years of trial-and-error I think I've found a leadership development model that fits my context. Yes there are many out there and I like a lot of them but I'm a firm believer that each church requires a unique plan that fits their needs. I've been to conferences, seminars, lunch gatherings, websites, blogs, and had conversations about which model could work but it took time to find the sweet spot.

Now, what we at FBC do is nothing new, I didn't design this by any means but rather took ideas from here and there...so here you go:

It functions using the standard developmental leadership model with a 1:5 leader/coach ratio.

Specifically...

•  1 time per quarter (4X per year) each life group leader will have conversation with a life group coach to cultivate their relationship, chat about what God is doing in their (the leader's) life, and how the leader's group is really doing.-highly relational...relationship first, then group stuff.

• Every other month (6X per year) all life group leaders gather for a "huddle". Here I vision cast, story tell...you know all the things point leaders do at big gatherings...and end with some brief need-based content. i.e. creating covenants, dealing with problem people, how to birth a new group well, how to assimilate new members when your group is "full". After I do my thing, the leaders break up and then receive in-depth training from their coaches (the content the coaches use is prepared in advance by me). I've found that the advantage with this approach is that leaders get to hear vision, a little bit of what God is doing in our church b/c of life groups, as well as rub elbows with fellow laborers in community, and lastly they get usable-not-a-waste-of-time content.

• 1 time per year every leader/coach/apprentice is invited to a mini/full retreat that is laser-focused on a specific topic. (still in prep stage...budget etc.)

Is this plan perfect? What's perfect got to do with it? It's working in my church...that's all that matters!

What the plan for my coaches? Stay tuned and I'll be glad to share in my next post! Have a great weekend...

Until next time,
JR

Fish Bowl

Hey leader...ever get the feeling that someone in your group is watching you? Not watching with an occasional glance but I mean really watching you...how you treat others, the language you use when in a tight situation, the amount of time you give to someone asking a question, whether you give thanks before you eat, whether you acknowledge the man in the corner sitting alone, or whether you directly talk to the newbie at group before anyone else does. The list goes on and on and on of ways those in your flock are watching!

Last week I was reminded that those in leadership indeed live in a fish bowl. No, I didn't get caught doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing...hehe. Rather it was a subtle encounter I had that caused me to remember that while I can sit in my office and communicate with my Coaches, leaders, and teachers...lots of people are watching how I conduct myself, lead our groups, and treat others. It was a great reminder of the awesome responsibility I've been given!

What about you? Do you find yourself living in a fish bowl?

Group Divorce

This is probably one of my most disliked aspects of group life...group multiplication. Yea, yea, i know that it's vital for the continuation of the church but that doesn't mean that I have to like it right?

I mean, I have worked tirelessly to build friendships with these people. My wife and I have invited them over, gone to movies, went for ice cream, watched the game, prayed for, called on, taken food to, hung out with, sat in the ashes with, celebrated with, encouraged, affirmed, emphathized, sympathized, hurt for, bragged on, worried about, spurred on, lost sleep over, watched as God moved in the lives of these people! Now we have to move on? It doesn't seem fair and it doesn't seem right? Why can't the church grow but us still maintain our circle of fellowship? Surely the kingdom of God doesn't need my small group to accomplish the purposes set out by God right?

Does this argument sound familiar?

I hear it often as I lead the discipleship efforts here at FBC and it's usually around this time of year. It's never an easy thing to make a transition like this...my group is going through it right now. It flat out stinks and can be messy.

However I think there are some misconceptions still lingering about...they cease to fade. As a small group point leader I think it's time to set the record straight. Below is my philosophy on small group multiplication:

1. The focus in not splitting the group, rather the focus is apprentice leader development (leader multiplication) so that the group remains intact and the apprentice or current leader is sent out to multiply into a new group. To me it doesn't make sense to encourage others to velcro themselves together for the next "era" of their lives but then ask them to split 1 year later...it's counterproductive for building community in my mind.

2. This process of leader multiplication is essential to the continuation of the church. In the words of the immortal Bill Donahue "The vitality and effectiveness of any local church is directly related to the quality of its leadership. It is the responsibility of the chruch to identify and develop new leaders so that the mission of the Gospel can be accomplished and so that people can be shepherded...it is the duty and privilege of all small group leaders to train up a new generation of leaders and to pass the baton effectively. The future hangs in the balance." LLCSG p. 67

3. The process of multiplication can blow up good and fast if you are not on top of things. Have you given everyone an opportunity to be heard? Do they understand why _______ is leaving to start a new group? Do they know that there is a reason why you push so hard for the apprentice process?

4. The undeniable truth of the words of John Ortberg. "to experience the joy of community and then keep it to ourselves is a violation of the Gospel." There are people out there right now looking for what you have...what does it say to the unknown if we know they're there but do nothing to provide them with the very thing they yearn for?

I leave you with a great quote from the legendary Bill Hybels

"God knows nothing of a people who stretch their arms upward to Him yet don't in turn stretch out their arms to those He loves so much. So much that His Son stretched out his arms to make it possible for them to be touched."

Your thoughts?

Till next time,

JR

Why are we afraid?

Whew! That was a bit of life that I just experienced...sorry about that delay. Back to group life!

I often wonder how many leaders out there ever feel scared of confrontation? Even if it's for the good of the group there are times when leaders will tell me that they are fearful of confrontation. No matter the training they are provided it seems that for one reason or another leaders naturally prefer to dodge hard conversations. Could it be that we were designed to live in peace with one another and the mere hint at disharmony doesn't sit well? I tend to think so.

However, despite what I think confrontation still happens and leaders must be prepared to handle it. As John Ortberg teaches, leaders must be the vice-principals of the group. a.k.a.speaker-of-hard-words
This will not be fun for you...it can be gut-wrenching, painful, extraordinarily difficult, and scary. But not dealing with conflict is like trying to hold a beach ball under water, you might be able to keep it hidden for a time but eventually it rises to the surface. Here are some helpful tips in dealing with conflict:

1) For all parties, reconciliation should be your primary objective.

2) Avoid the phrases "you never" "you always" etc.

3) Always use phrases like "I feel that" "When you _____, I feel______".

4)Always speak the truth in love.

5) If they are in the wrong, never leave them without a way back to community, if you are in the wrong    humbly confess and seek their forgiveness .

Till next time!
JR

Whoa!

Hey blogland,

Sorry for the month delay in posting! A little bit of life has occurred (grandma passed, kids sick multiple times, i was sick, hectic at work and home etc.) and has kept me away from you all. But now I'm back and ready to begin typing away!

I've often wondered what makes a group leader stay a group leader. When I recruit new leaders I find there are a variety of factors in their decision to serve. Such as work schedule, passion for the ministry and people, clear communication and concise job duties. While they do agree to serve as a shepherd of a flock many leaders eventually experience burnout or boredom.

You might find yourself asking the question "How can they say one month this group has completely revolutionized their approach to faith!" but in the next month say "I really need to focus on my family right now." which is code word for "I cannot find a good reason for wanting to quit so I'm going to use one no  one can argue with."

Well, in those situations I've found that there are a few things you can do to prevent leaders from going from champions of group life to overwhelmed leaders.

1. Good Coaching-Ensuring span of care is provided for every group leader is a must. Everyone leader needs a person who can come along side of them to encourage, share the load, and pray for them. Burned out group leaders might possibly be suffering from a lack of coaching.

2. Good Training-Providing quality training for your group leaders is critical. Making sure they possess the skills required to shepherd a flock should be at the top of your to do list if you are a point leader. To borrow a line from the drama West Wing "Many people would love to swim the English Channel but it takes more than jumping off a pier." A common mistake point leaders make is slapping the tag "leader" on someone, helping them set a time and date of a meeting, publicize the group but then doesn't prepare them properly. Don't make this mistake...please!

3. A Bold Challenge-Ask yourself/your leaders if you/they have a balance in their lives of work/family/extra-curricular/church involvement etc. If you/your leader is out of balance, challenge them to step down for a season. This shows your leadership/leader that you care about the flock more than the title. If  you feel the flock is being short-changed act swiftly!

Until next time,
Josh

It Never Stops

I met with a leader today and was reminded that despite all of our good intentions as leaders, circumstances never stay the same. Leaders deal with the pressures of work, family, hobbies, church, their group, kids sports teams, and the list goes on and on. What can we do to help lighten the load? How can we help our leaders that are barely keeping their heads above water? What words of encouragement can we offer? How can we make their life easier?

If we do nothing, we'll produce burnt out leaders who will eventually quit because other things will take priority over group life. Obviously, that's not going to work. There is something we can do, something we can offer, something that will help keep our leaders engaged in group life. What is it?

Stayed tuned as I will be writing on the answer soon.

Josh

Shift

There are times when I find myself drifting along in the normal flow of life and feel bored or perhaps complacent. I am not a patient person and believe that people only get to live life 1 time. Therefore, we must make the most of every moment, never ceasing to settle for anything less than saying "I've squeezed every drop of life out of today" every night at bedtime. So, I believe being bored keeps me unimaginative. Being bored keeps me comfortable. Being bored keeps me cautious. None of these is good. However...

When it comes to group life I think being bored is not totally bad. I mean, it's part of the ebb and flow of life and we shouldn't feel too bad if we find ourselves bored with our spot in group life. I've often heard preachers give proclamations that being bored or complacent is a sign that we're not growing closer to God. While there may be some truth to this statement, I believe that when we're bored is when things can be most exciting!

For a change in knowledge, skill, understanding or action to take place there must be a shift from one way of thinking (this is what led to boredom) to a new way of thinking. Being bored is the deep breath before the plunge into creativity, in fact it necessitates creativity! Being bored is an acknowledgement that things must change. Being bored fires up the creative juices, ignites the adventurous spirit, and unleashes the limitless possibilities of what could be. Being bored is one step from really living. What a rush!

Perhaps your experience in your small group is such that you are simply bored. Tired of the same people week in and week out, you say to your spouse maybe with a hint of guilt "Is it time to move on to a different group?" Or perhaps you feel that you're growing in relationships and through your quiet time, but the group leader's lessons are predictable and somewhat stale. What should you do?

Maybe what you need is a shift in thinking. Perhaps you should re-focus yourself on the purpose of biblical community, realizing that its okay to put a name on boredom with your group. That could be a freeing moment for many in the group. Scary? Yes because we're comfortable. Necessary? Could be.

So where are you? Are you drifting along or intentionally focused on the task at hand, living out God's purpose for your life? Have you experienced the shift yet or are you still waiting...if so, its just around the corner waiting. Embrace it!

Welcome

Welcome to my blog! My hope is that you find this blog helpful to you whether you are a group leader, group member, small group ministry point leader, or someone who's considering living in the context of biblical community.

My hope is also that you be challenged. I think sometimes we can so easily get complacent in the application of our beliefs and that can be a dangerous thing. By challenging our current paradigms on how Scripture can intersect with our daily living we'll not only hopefully be moving forward in our faith, but consider new ways of thinking that can impact those in our sphere of influence.

Lastly, I would love to hear from you if you have a comment on something I post. I don't have all the answers and consider myself an eternal student...especially when the subject is community.

Thanks and enjoy!