Whew! That was a bit of life that I just experienced...sorry about that delay. Back to group life!
I often wonder how many leaders out there ever feel scared of confrontation? Even if it's for the good of the group there are times when leaders will tell me that they are fearful of confrontation. No matter the training they are provided it seems that for one reason or another leaders naturally prefer to dodge hard conversations. Could it be that we were designed to live in peace with one another and the mere hint at disharmony doesn't sit well? I tend to think so.
However, despite what I think confrontation still happens and leaders must be prepared to handle it. As John Ortberg teaches, leaders must be the vice-principals of the group. a.k.a.speaker-of-hard-words
This will not be fun for you...it can be gut-wrenching, painful, extraordinarily difficult, and scary. But not dealing with conflict is like trying to hold a beach ball under water, you might be able to keep it hidden for a time but eventually it rises to the surface. Here are some helpful tips in dealing with conflict:
1) For all parties, reconciliation should be your primary objective.
2) Avoid the phrases "you never" "you always" etc.
3) Always use phrases like "I feel that" "When you _____, I feel______".
4)Always speak the truth in love.
5) If they are in the wrong, never leave them without a way back to community, if you are in the wrong humbly confess and seek their forgiveness .
Till next time!
JR
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