A Place to Belong

Well an new idea I'll be trying out this fall is called "Grow on the Go". I know I'm not the only one who deals with this issue but at times I find myself beating my head against the wall when leaders don't show up for training events. And every time I follow up with those who missed I get a familiar answer...too busy. That pesky nemesis called busyness deflates enthusiasm, keeps people out of the loop, and inhibits growth...

To combat this enemy I decided to create "Grow on the Go". This tool is a laser-focused audio recording of me or someone smarter (not hard to find :)) addressing practical "how to" group life issues that leaders face everyday. The idea is that a leader could pop in the cd when they get in the car on the way to work and when they get to work they would be done...

Not sure if it will work but hey I'm willing to try anything if it means my leaders will feel equipped to do ministry!

Here's the transcript of the first recording "A Place to Belong"

Grow on the Go Series: A Place to Belong


Welcome to Grow on the Go! My name is Josh Rose and I’m the Adult Minister at FBC. I’d like to spend the next few minutes talking about how to make your group a place to belong.

You’ve probably heard the phrase “a place to belong” before…maybe it was at a conference, or on a flyer, or maybe from one of your church leaders. No matter where you’ve heard the phrase, the message it communicates is what’s important.

When you stop and think about belonging…everyone desires it. No matter the walk of life people want and like to feel as if they belong with a group of people, whether it’s family, a team, friends or coworkers. Belonging is what people want but today many sociologists argue that there is a crisis of belonging in our country.

Did you know that every year 15-17% of the US population relocates? That about 45 million people! Think about the accumulating impact of that! In the career or family building years (ages 20-40) 1 of 3 families moves every year. Do you remember how long it takes to get settled in to a neighborhood? If 1 of 3 families are moving every year the you can bet they’re not settling in..I’m mean why bother if they’re just going to move again? So what we have is good people who are essentially strangers living hospitably among strangers. This has even affected our social activities. For example according to Purdue research professor Dr. Glen Sparks, over the past 20 years:

Friends gathering for card games -25%

Full service rest stops -50%

Fast Food Restaurants +100

Neighborhood gatherings -33%

Time spent in clubs -58%

Dinner at home with friends -33%

# of friends -45%

Again think about what type of culture this has created and how that has affected belonging in our society today.

Did you also know that we are watching at least 28 hrs of television per week! Did you catch that? The average American is looking at a screen (not a face) for over a day a week. According to Purdue University that’s a conservative estimate. In 2006 Nielsen did a study on the American home and found it held 2.5 people per household but contained 2.7 t.v’s per household! 4 years ago there were more t.v.’s in the average home than people! I wonder what it is today? There’s no doubt about it…we are media saturated.

So to sum up…we are a mobile society and we are media saturated. What’s this done? Will Miller, Purdue University’s sociologist/comedian/therapist argues that too many American women have too few women that feel like sisters to them. Too many American men have to few men that feel like brother to them.

People desire to be connected and to have close friendships. I know this because as I look back at the most popular tv shows over the years: Seinfeld, Everyone love Raymond, Friends, Cosby Show, Third Rock from the Sun, that 70s show…or if we look at more current shows: Big Bang Theory, Glee, Lost, Sex and the City and the list goes on…they all share the sense of belonging that people seek…but instead of going out and making their own hubs of community where belonging can thrive…they sit and connect with the characters on tv…

Ok so what do we do with this information…what’s the “how will my leadership be different because of this information?”

Well, small groups are in prime position to capitalize on the current situation in our world today. But how? Here are a few tips on how to cultivate belonging in your group. But first please understand this: Speed of the leader…speed of the team. You will have to do many, if not all, of these things first…you must set the example for people to follow…also, by you acting it will give them permission to act.

With that in mind:

1) Make it a priority to meet between meetings. Whatever the activity, simply spending time together will build a sense of belonging.

2) During your meeting time….relax. This isn’t Seminary Bible Class, take a focused yet relaxed approach to your group meeting…it makes people feel more connected and this will lead to belonging developing organically.

3) During your meeting time, talk about the between meeting get-togethers. This will help your group view itself as not just a Sunday evening event but rather a part of their life. Also an added bonus is it will begin to draw out those still struggling to catch on to the whole Group Life movement.

4) If you’re going to watch tv, do it together…I mean Americans are watching 28hrs of tv a week! Surely you can watch 4 of the 28 hrs in the company of your fellow group members. Again, time with each other will result in an increased sense of belonging.

Your group can have everything people need for belonging. It just takes getting out there and putting in the hard work. It takes sacrifice…but the prize is living as God designed us to live…and there’s no better reward than that.

God bless ya and best of luck as you make your small group a place to belong.

Until Next Time,
JR